My Obsession with Zoodles

So on my never ending journey to try and reduce the mass of my ass (like that? it rhymed)...I've recently become obsessed with zoodles; noodles made from zucchini.  And don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to push anything healthy on anyone...I drink wine while I make the zoodles and most likely reward myself with some sort of delicious desert since I just ate such a healthy meal (probably the reason I've had little ass shrinking success).  I just thought I'd pass along a few of my favorite recipes in case anyone else would like to give them a whirl.

I should start with you need to get yourself some sort of zoodle making apparatus; I use the Vegetti, that's right the "as seen on TV" product...and thus far I love it.  The only downfall is that you can pretty much only spiral zucchinis or cucumbers, there are probably other products that can do more. I, however, am not one for research so I just bought the first thing that came up on Amazon.

Anyways, the first lovely little dish I cooked up actually involved no cooking at all...it was a summer salad.  I peeled my zucchinis (2  or 3 depending on size) and then spun them around in the Vegetti, not gonna lie, I was super pumped about the skinny spiral zoodles that popped out the other side.  Next I halved some cherry tomatoes, I threw in some diced chili's from a can and tossed in a cup of feta cheese (I'm going to add in right now this is not an original recipe I found this shit on Pinterest and made any adjustments I found necessary).  The dressing was just as simple, 1/4 cup olive oil, juice from 1 lemon and then salt and pepper to taste.  Just toss the salad in the dressing and BAM...a healthy substitute for pasta salad that was pretty damn delicious.

The next dish I decided to try was the good old spaghetti and meatballs...because I LOVE pasta (and really and carbohydrate that is in my vicinity) and am always looking for something to substitute in for the noodles.  In the fall I become obsessed with spaghetti squash, but since that's not in season right now I had to find an alternative.  This was just as simple as making regular spaghetti...I used my handy Vegetti to spiral the zucchini (this time I just washed them and left them unpeeled) and then threw them in the microwave for about 2 minutes and DONE.  Just heat up your favorite sauce, toss on some balls (meatballs that is) and top with some parm cheese.

This is my kind of cooking, quick and easy.  I may attempt more challenging recipes down the road but for now me and my Vegetti are fine making whatever easy zoodle dishes we can find.  Cheers!

Another High School Wedding

So I'm sure by this time in our lives we've all attended a high school wedding, I have attended several already and this weekend I'll be attending yet another in Kennebunkport Maine...that's right...Kennebunkport.  Now as much as we all like to say that so much has changed since high school, we've all grown up, matured..blah blah blah...you stick old high school friends in a room together and everyone resorts back to EXACTLY who they were in high school.  Well, one thing changed...I'm much fatter now than I was then, still a stone cold fox most days, well every other day...more realistically one day...I'm a stone cold fox one day a week.  Any ways the hookers I went to school with haven't really changed at all, if anything they've gotten skinnier; I know what you're thinking...WHORES.  So if I'm lucky in Kennebunkport they will equate weight with wealth and I'll have that going for me.

Now I've never been to this quaint little Maine town, but in my head I'm imaging J.Crew meets Sex & the City meets waspy (defined by Urban Dictionary as powerful, rich, white and preppy).  I used to work for J.Crew (1 point me), I've watched every season of Sex & the City (2 points me), I curse like a sailor, drink like a fish and tend to voice my opinion whether you'd like to here it or not (not the exact definition of waspy so we'll award no points for that one); as far as I can tell I should have no problem blending in with the locals.  BUT just for fun I will pack my Steeler's jersey and wear it around the hotel asking how I get to "dahntahn."  

In order to prepare for Kennebunkport I've outfitted myself with what I have deemed "waspy attire", I will never pass on an opportunity to buy new outfits...and I've given my significant other some valuable advice on what he should pack.  For example....high ankle socks are a hard no...Polo's are a yes...free t-shirts you've received are a no...button down shirts are a yes...and so on and so forth.  So tonight I will double check his single duffel bag and I will pack my 3 suitcases (I just never know what I'll feel like wearing).  Then we'll do a run through of the itinerary and I will give him a heads up that I hate flying...and that since our flight leaves at 9:30 am I'll plan on being drunk by about 8:45 am; don't worry I'll post plenty of mimosa selfies...I know how much people like to be kept up to date on what I'm doing and how I look through 1 of the 50 filters I have to chose from to make myself look better.  So wish me luck, drink a glass of wine and you're welcome.